???S'thabile Duma's graduation story is no ordinary one. Yes, it's a story of triumph over very difficult circumstances and never giving up hope. But ultimately, it's about Ubuntu – about a group of South Africans who came together across divides to show what magic can happen when we open our hearts to graciously give and graciously receive.
At the beginning of 2024, S'thabile faced what she thought was almost insurmountable challenges. She had no idea how she was going to get through her final year of industrial engineering at Stellenbosch 肆客足球 (SU). In the first week of February, she had no place to stay, and she feared that she would not be able to register due to outstanding debt from the previous year.
Last year, the housing crisis had reached a peak in Stellenbosch and like many desperate students, the young woman was literally knocking on doors, begging for accommodation. Walking in the scorching February sun for kilometres across town looking for a place to stay, she struggled to keep her tears from spilling over.
A little more than a year later, St'ha – as her loved ones call her – was allowing the tears to flow freely. This time, she was crying with joy and profound gratitude as she celebrated getting her engineering degree with her new Stellenbosch “family".
When S'thabile needed support most, Ben and Jeanneret Momberg opened their hearts and home to her.
Passionate about helping
She's always been very self-reliant, S'thabile says. “I'm someone who doesn't like to worry people, I try to sort things out for myself. But this time I had run out of ways to save myself."
S'thabile's despair last year was in a way ironic because she's been a dedicated volunteer with Action4Inclusion, an initiative steered by SU's Centre for Social Justice to support the “missing middle" students to close the gap between talent and financial need.
“For three years I had been helping others clear their student debts, finding ways to raise funds through organising events such as the annual Social Justice Walk," S'thabile explains. “In all that time, I didn't want anyone in the Action4Inclusion group to know of my own struggles. I always found a way to pay my fees by knocking on the doors at SU's Development and Alumni Relations Office, student finances and the engineering faculty who assisted with things like bursaries and accommodation."
When she could see no way out of her own desperate situation at the beginning of the 2024 academic year, S'thabile confided in a friend. At that point, she felt ready to give up and return to her home in KwaZulu-Natal. But a few calls later, the wheels were set in motion by Action4Inclusion's team.
“I remember Prof Thuli Madonsela, the director of the Centre for Social Justice, calling me in the late afternoon, very concerned. She was hurt that I had not said something sooner about my troubles. She assured me that she will do her best to reach out to the community and find help for me."
The first lifeline came from a friend of Madonsela who offered to assist S'thabile with her outstanding student debt. “I was completely overwhelmed when it dawned on me that I could now register. I still struggle to find the words to express my gratitude," she says.
Unconditional love
A week before classes were due to start, S'thabile received a call from Jeanneret, offering her a place to stay on the family's farm close to Stellenbosch. “It came as a huge relief. Initially, the plan was for me to stay for a few weeks while I looked for something permanent," S'thabile recalls.
Jeanneret has also been involved with Action4Inclusion for a few years. When Madonsela connected her with S'thabile, the Momberg family was still reeling from a tragedy. At the end of 2023, Ben and Jeanneret's son Benje was shot by armed robbers at a pub in Stellenbosch and left paralysed.
At S'thabile graduation party, Jeanneret movingly shared how in a few short weeks she had become like a daughter to them. She paid tribute to the “ray of sunshine" S'thabile brought into the family's life at a difficult time. “We all just fell in love with her," Jeanneret said. What was going to be a temporary living arrangement, soon turned permanent.
S'thabile admits that she initially struggled with preconceived ideas of white Afrikaans people. When Ben offered to give her a ride into town to go to class on the first day, she was very nervous being in a car alone with a white farmer. “As I waited in the parking area I thought 'what have you gotten yourself into!?' When Ben came out, he said 'Hi S'tha' and he opened the door for me. Nobody has ever done that for me! Ben turned out to be the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met."
She later found out Ben didn't really have regular business in town as he had claimed, he went out of his way every day to take her to the SU campus. “He did it with so much devotion and care. I will never forget it," S'thabile says.
“I have never experienced such love from people who didn't know me. They are such a cool, inspiring family. We often sat at the dinner table together. Sundays were my favourite because it was most likely braai time. During exam time, I was spoilt rotten. Jeanneret made sure I had a big breakfast with eggs for my 'thinking juices'. She asked what I wanted for lunch and when I arrived home, dinner was waiting in the microwave."
Paying it forward
S'thabile says looking back on last year, she's reminded of the famous quote Madonsela often uses: “It takes a village to raise a child."
“I saw that and experienced it. All these people came together to help me through my final year, and it has changed my life forever. Because of this community, I am now a graduate.
“I share my story not only to express gratitude but to urge people to keep giving. Even if you don't have money to donate, you can share your resources or your time. I plan to pay it forward and help others whenever I can. My life calling is to help others. I believe that with this degree, I can uplift my community and our country through innovative business ideas, contributing to our economy and the wellbeing of our people.
“My story in 2024 also shows that Nelson Mandela's dream and vision for our country is possible when we come together. I now have a wonderful family in Stellenbosch – something I never thought I would say!"
This weekend, the Mombergs will help their S'thabile move into a new flat in Cape Town where she will soon start working.
“Being part of S'thabile's journey is a true blessing," says Jeanneret. “Her story is a beautiful expression of Ubuntu – of what's possible when we support one another. Helping a bright young woman realise her potential is a privilege. We want our young people to dream big, to rise above their circumstances, and to know they are never alone."
PHOTO: Stefan Els
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